This post seems to get a large burst in traffic in December each year, almost entirely based on Google queries for “jingle bells batman smells”. Presumably that is why you are here. Let me cut to the chase and give you what you are looking for:
There are several variants of this song. The one I grew up with was:
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile lost a wheel
and the Joker got away
Other reported versions include:
Shotgun shells, Santa smells,
Rudolf ran away,
Oh what fun it is to ride
in a beat-up Chevrolet!
or
Jingle bells, shotgun shells,
Santa Claus is dead,
Rudolf got a .22
and shot him in the head.
or
Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells,
BB’s in the air.
Oh, what fun it is to ride
in Santa’s underwear!”
or
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg,
The Batmobile lost a wheel,
and the Joker joined ballet , Hey!
Check the comments for other variations. Some have alternate lyrics to the verse as well as the chorus. It would also help my little research if any old-timers (say over 40 years old) left a comment indicated what version you heard first, where you heard (what town or state) and approximately what year you heard it. I’d like to figure out what the original version truly was, and where it came from and how fast it spread.
Also, if you are interesting in crazy Christmas music, then I highly recommend Dr. Demento’s Greatest Christmas Novelty CD of All Time. It is filled with many old school holiday comic classics.
That’s it on Jingle Bells. What follows is an blog post only tangentially related. You probably won’t find it very interesting.
I’ve been cataloging my book collection, an accumulation of years of book buying by a wide-ranging and impulsive reader. I’m using BookCat from FNProgramvare, a simple program with a killer feature for me — the ability to download book information, including author, title, publisher, copyright date, etc., based on ISBN or LOC codes. This promised to make the work much faster and removed the last excuse I had for leaving this task undone.
Any such cataloging effort inevitably becomes a journey into my past, as I recall when and where I purchased the book and what I learned from it. I also find the most curious things stuck between the pages of the books, old bookmarks from stores no longer in existence, shopping lists, an unpaid gas bill from 1993, a scrap of paper will a phone number but no name. In the end, having the database software did not bring the tremendous performance increase I had hoped for. The bottleneck is not the data entry — it is my day dreaming.
I came across my old copy of David Bohm’s Quantum Mechanics, a well-worn paperback, not pretty to look at. But it is one of my Dover paperbacks, and I keep those. Dover Publications has a special place in my heart. Their paperback reprints of classic texts in mathematics and physics were my constant companions during my 20’s, and were part of something of a weekly ritual. Every Saturday, except in the dead of winter, I would walk the two miles to Harvard Square, go to Wordsworth bookstore (now gone), pick up a new book, and walk across the street to The Skewers (now also gone) for a falafel sandwich, or perhaps to Elsie’s (alas no more) for an Eslie Burger and a knish. I’d eat and read, and then head over to JFK Park (still here) and read some more, and then walk home, or more likely take the #86 back to Somerville.
Helmholtz’s On the Sensation of Tone, Weyl’s Space, Time, Matter and Smith’s A Source Book in Mathematics“, are books I remember in particular. I think I learned more in my years after Harvard than I did when I was there.
So, after musing over the creased covers of my misspent youth, I decided to see if Dover was still around and what they had had in their catalog today. A quick search revealed their online store. I had them send there printed catalog to my home. (Sometimes I need to hold paper). I put in an order and a week later a box of books arrived.
I’m reading now Games and Songs of American Children by William Wells Newell, a reprint of the 1903 edition. I find it fascinating to trace transmission of this part of culture from generation to generation, of games like “Tag”, “Button button who has the button?”, “The church and the steeple” or “Odd or even?” These games are not learned from teachers in a school, or read in a book, or typically even taught from parents. For the most part they are transmitted from child to child, from an older sibling, or a peer, through the most casual pathways. They defied every propriety of authority or hierarchy. Culture was supposed to be a top-down thing, from the elites to the masses, right? But yet, games like this have spread across the country and beyond without any overt effort. In a way, it is like Language.
So, that made me think about the “classic” children’s parody of Jingle Bells, the one with the words “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells/Robin Laid an Egg/The Batmobile lost a wheel/and the Joker got away”. I assume there is no part of this country where these words are not known to every child. But it exists in no songbook. What great rhapsode first sung these words, and when and where was it done? How fast did it travel? I think if a sufficient survey was done of adults of various ages, as to when and where they recall first hearing these lyrics, one could attempt a reconstruction of the migration of this bit of modern folklore. Those who heard it earliest would have heard it closer to its source.
The Jingle Bells, Batman Smells by Rob Weir, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
Southeast PA, early 70’s, Your version, and also two other parodies of Jingle Bells:
1.
Shotgun shells, Santa smells, Rudolf ran away, Oh what fun it is to ride in a beat-up Chevrolet!
2. Jingle bells, shotgun shells,
Santa Claus is dead,
Rudolf got a .22 and shot him in the head.
I’m researching this, too, and happened upon this post. Thought I’d add that growing up, we always sang…
“Jingle Bells, Shotgun Shells, BeeBees in the air. Oh, what fun it is to ride in Santa’s underwear!”
Creepy, I know.
Well, what is new is to say “Jingle Bells ,batman smells Robin laid an egg, the batmobile lost a wheel ,and joker joined ballet , Hey!”
My husband’s contribution, Vancouver BC, ca 1965?? Only the first part is certain, the rest is now in scraps and tatters, and if anyone can help ?
Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa Claus is dead,
Someone took a beebee gun and shot him in the head, hey!
Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh,
Hunting down the elves, laughing all the way
(Bells on bob-tail ring,
making spirits bright — there MAY have been something in this phrase about blood on the snow, but that’s one of the lost parts)
Oh what fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight, hey!
Anybody recognize this one?
this is one i learned when i was about 7 or 8, “jingle bells batman smells, robin laid an egg! batmobile lost a wheel and joker took ballet hey! dashing through the snow on a broken pair of skis over hills we go, crashing into trees hahaha the snow is turning red, i think im almost dead, will someone call an ambulance before i lose my head hey! not a very good song to be singing at 7 years old i kno but what can you do?
the last song goes
Dashing through the snow on a pair of broken skis and crashing into trees the snow is turning red i think im almost dead but i wake up in a hospital bed with stiches in my head Hey 911 911 barneys on the run and i forget the rest of the song so am gonna say HEY
there’s this one:
dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skiis
oner the hills we go
crashing throgh the trees
the snow is really red
i think im almost dead
they rushed me to the hospital
i almost lost my head!
jingle bells, jingle bells, santa clause is dead rudolph took a 22 and shot him in the head barbie doll barbie doll tried to save his life but GI joe from mexico stabed her with a knife. That’s a pretty bad one.
I got one and here it is:
Dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
over the hills we go
crashing through the trees!
Oh my god!
The snow is turnin’ red
I think I’m almost dead
I woke up in a hospital bed
with stitches in my head!
911,
911,
Calling 911,
while I’m on my broken skis,
I’m saying “Oh what fun”
Hey!
ahah ok heres one
jingle bells
batman smells robbin layed an egg,
batmobil lost its wheel and joker got away
hey!
batmans in the kitchen
robbins in the hall
jokers in the bathroom peeing on the wall !…
ahah i just heard that one
HERE’S 1!!!
dashing through the snow on a pair of broken skis over the cliffs I go, crashing into trees
the snow is turning red, I think I’m almost dead. I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head
O
911 911 call it all the way
O what fun it is to ride in an ambulance all day HEY
911 911 call it all the way O. what. fun. it. is. to. ride. in. a.
one
horse
o-pen
sleeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
When doing the broken pair of skis version, be sure to add “ow, ow, ow” after crashing into trees.
I first heard it (the first version you list) in Minneapolis around 1974 while in 6th grade
Batman’s in the kitchen,
Robin’s in the hall,
Joker’s in the bathroom
peeing on the wall.
Penguin’s on the potty,
His arms too short to wipe,
Catwoman’s in the litter box
And the Riddler smokes a pipe.
O, Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg,
The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away!
jingle bells,
batman smells,
robin layed an egg!
the batmobile lost a wheel,
and joker`s song is gay!
oooooh..
jingle bells,
shotgun shells,
mad hatter is dead!
robin got a .22,
and shot him in the head!
ooooooooh!
*chorus*
prancing through the snow,
joker has his day,
taking all the jewls,
laughing all the way!
mwa hah hah!
next verse:
batmans in the kitchen,
robins in the hall,
jokers on the porch,
peeing on the wall! penguins on the potty, his arms too short to wipe,
catwomans in the litter box,
and robin smokes a pipe!
theres more but i cant remember…
Deck the Halls with laughing gases
mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
watch batman kick those guys asses
mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
cant they see im geting away?
mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
robins too busy being gay
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
jokers leaving in a haste
dun da da dun da, da da da da.
not fast enuff, they smashed his face
Fa la la la la la, la la la.
in arkum they give a toast
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
to the clown with a smashed nose
ha ha ha ha haaa ha ha ha haaaaa!
Robin the red dressed hero
batmans very first sidekick
he never took good orders
prolly why his name is dick
bruce was a bit strict on him
while they kept crime at bay
he always bossed poor Robin
ever since that one day
That one day at the trapeze
that Brucey came to say:
“Robin with your mind so bright
wont you try on these cool tights?”
Then how the villions hated him
stressed him out til he was angry
left the roll to tim drake
then came the night wing!!
Jingle bells batman smells
Robin laid a gun
Shot a deer in the rear
in 1981
I first heard the classic:
Jingle bells, batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile
Lost its wheel
And the Joker ran away-hey!
In the early ’70s growing up in Rhode Island. I heard it throughout my childhood, next in New Hampshire, and then in Virginia. Hope this helps track it down…I’m curious too!
its obvious where the carols stemmed from! in the actual series joker sings the song in a christmas episode. then other ppl made thier own versions and then on and so forth
Here’s one we sang back in the 70s growing up in Australia……….
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
Robin flew away
Father Christmas lost his whiskers
Flying TAA – Hey!
FYI – TAA stands for Trans Australia Airlines and was the national airline of Oz back in those days.
Doubt it’ll be much help, but in the 90s the definitive version in PA, NJ, and NY was
“Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
The batmobile lost a wheel
And Joker took ballet”
Also another one from Australia from the 70’s that I learnt was
Jingle Bells, Batman smells Robin Ran away, Wonder Woman lost her bosoms flying T.A.A
when i was 8 wen i herd one that goes like this: jingle bells batman smells robin flew away uncle billy lost his willy on the motorway hey!
but very rude:(
Jingel Bells, Shotgun Shells,
Santa Claus is dead,
tried to steal my sneakers
so I shot him in the head.
Ohio. Late 70’s/early 80’s.
Dashing through the snow,on a pair of broken skis,down the hill we go,crashing into trees. The snow is turning red,oh my gosh santa claus he’s dead! Oh, 911,911 santa’s really dead! Oh barbie doll,barbie doll tried yo save his life. But GI Joe from Mexico stabbed her with a knife!
Here’s the Sesame Street version:
Jingle bells, Oscar smells,
Bid Bird laid an egg.
Mr. Hooper had a pooper,
On Christmas day, Hey!
JINGLE BELLS, SANTA SMELLS,
50 MILES AWAY
BLOWS HIS NOSE, IN CHERIOS,
AND EATS THEM EVERYDAY, HEY
Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin laid a leg.
That leg once belonged to the joker
Hey!
Scropion’s attacking Batman
Burning him to hell
how did he get here hey
He’s supposed to be in Mortal Kombat
With Barraka
While getting sliced
with those giant sword things!
Now it’s 2045
Batman can’t even see
and joker’s on a killing spree!
Hey!
(I just made it up as I went along!)
North Alabama, early 80s
Jingle Bells, Shotgun shells
Granny has a gun!
Shot me in the underwear
and boy I had to run!
Anyone know teh last woprds to this one I remember from school/
Jungle bells Batman smells Robyn ran away. Wonder Woman lost her busoms….
I seem to remember that it list a few other “heroes as well
jingle bells batman smells
robin laid an egg!
batmobile lost its wheel
and joker played ballet! hey!
Jingle bells, shotgun shells,
Granny had a gun,
Pulled that trigger and
Shot that N*****
in 1961.
Silght variation on the Batman one where I grew up.
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile just lost a wheel, and now the Batman’s dead!
Thanks!! we found this site after hearing a child say
“Jingle Bells Batman smells
Robin got a gun
Shot a tree Made it pee
And Joker got away”
and wondering what was up with that.
Jingle bells,
batman smells,
robin layed a gun,
shot a tree and
made it pee in
1981
MY PARODY
Santa Claus, Santa Claus,
Santa Claus is dead,
Rudolf jacked a 4.4
And shot him in the head,
Oh,
Barbie doll, Barbie doll,
Tried to save his life,
But Scrooge’s son grabbed her thin neck
And stabbed her with a knife.
Escaping through the snow,
On two pairs of broken skis,
Over huge hills they go,
Smashing into trees,
Snow ‘round them ‘s turning red,
Rudolf (literally) lost his head,
They end up in a hospital
Chained tightly to their bed,
‘Cause
Santa Claus, Santa Claus,
Santa Claus is dead,
Rudolf jacked a 4.4
And shot him in the head,
And
Barbie doll, Barbie doll,
Tried to save his life,
But Scrooge’s son grabbed her thin neck
And stabbed her with a knife.
Dashing through the snow,
On two old broken skiis.
I think I broke my knees.
The snow is turning red.
I think I’m almost dead.
Ten years in the hospital with stitches in my head.
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,
granny got a gun.
Shot a deer, in the rear in 1941. HEY!
This was how me and my son sing it.Jingle bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg.
The Bat Mobil lost its wheel and crashed in to hedge
HEY!
Batman’s is a so camp.
And Robin is a fool.
The Jokers in the Batman’s house peeing on the walls
HEY!
Dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
over the hills he goes
crashing through the trees.
HEY!
The snow is really red
I think he’s almost dead
Batman’s rushed to hospital
he almost lost his head.
HEY!
Jingle bells, Jingle bells
Jingle all the way.
O what fun it is to ride
in batman’s Chevrolet.
From Tim and James UK
Hi Rob,
I'm 51, and the first version I remember is the first one you posted. I'm sue I first heard it in '66… I was 8, and the Batman TV show was brand new.
Thanks for posting
Caby Smith
The VErsion I know goes
Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin layed an egg
rudolph got a 22. and shot
him in the head
We also sang in Mississippi:
Jingle Bells,Shotgun Shells
Grandma's got a gun
Shot me in the underwear and boy I had to run!
Someone from Alabama made the same post. I guess it's a Southern thing! We sang this version as children in the 80's, but I'm sure it was around before then.
Kids on the West Side of Manhattan have taught me:
Dashing through the snow
on a pair of broken skis
o'er the fields we go
And crashing into trees
The sno is turning red
I think Im almost dead
All I want for Christmas is an artificial head
oh 9-1-1-, 9-1-1
Someone call the cops
Take me to the hospital and feed me lollipops!
But as a child on Long Island in the 70's we sang
Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin laid an egg
The Batmobile broke it's wheel and the Joker got away!
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg,
Uncle Billy lost his willy,
on the motorway hey!
Jingle Hell
Jingle bells, Santa smells,
The reindeers flew away;
The elves are sick
The snow is thick:
We all hate Christmas Day.
Jingle Bells, the turkey smells,
The stuffing's thick and grey;
The sprouts are old,
The sauce is cold:
We all hate Christmas Day.
Jingle Bells, the rector smells,
The curate he looks gay;
The church bell rings,
The choir sings:
We all hate Christmas Day.
Jingle bells, Granddad smells,
Grandma wants her way,
Dad is mad,
Mum is sad:
We all hate Christmas Day.
Zymosian. 12th December, 2009
By me
the x-factor version, courtesy of my 10 yr old brother-
jingle bells, jedward smells,
simon cowell's gay,
oh what fun it is to screech
and ignore what the judges say!
first heard round belfast, 2009
Early 70’s, NE Pennsylvania:
Joker “RAN” away version.
This is all really interesting. But the only time I can remember hearing it was on The Simpsons in one of their Christmas shows. And it was:
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg.
The Batmobile lost a wheel,
And the Joker got away.
Another version, as if sung by an auctioneer at a fast tempo:
Jingle Bells, but-a-Batman smells but-a-
Robin laid an egg.
Frank Sinatra sang this song but it
Didn’t go this way, hey!
Jingle Bells, but-a-Batman smells but-a-
Robin laid an egg.
Sammy Spear, drank a beer and the
Band refused to play.
I have one:
Jiggle bells bat man smells robin has a gun, he shot himself at pizza hut in 1981!
Try this:
Jingle bells, dasher smells
Elfy ran away
Santa thinks, that Elfy stinks
I forgot what to say! Hey!